Funny story. My fear of failure has prevented me from posting anything of substance for over nine months. Why? Because I’m dumb or don’t know good nglish and how to rite. Ok, not exactly. It’s because I have let fear consume me to the point I can’t even force myself to write anything down. I have had a thousand different ideas in those nine months, but I have been sabotaging myself with fear. So let’s get to the root cause of fear and discover how we can dig out of the hole.
What Causes Fear of Failure?
Each person has a different definition of fear because of the context of their moment. For my situation fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous , likely to cause pain or a threat. As for failure, I define it as a lack of success. When you put definitions together it explains why I was paralyzed at the thought of failing due to fear. I have been so afraid of things that haven’t happened and might not ever happen that I have done nothing.
What does Fear of Failure look like?
There are many different signs of “fear of failure” that you might experience and notice.
- Self-sabotage – Most of us are all too familiar with this one. The ability to procrastinate excessively to the point where it adds extra anxiety and undue stress.
- Self-confidence – Everyone is their own biggest critic. Just remember how you perceive yourself isn’t necessarily how others view you.
- Perfectionism – You will never start something you know you cannot perfect.
- An inability to try new things.
FUCK FEAR: How to Overcome Fear
Four ways to overcome fear.
- Acknowledge you could end up failing and accept it. However, do not dwell on this. Focus on the fact that success is just as much of a possibility.
- Be positive. There are plenty of people in this world with hate in their heart. Be the bright light and bring everyone out of the darkness with you. There is something behind the power of positive thinking. Create a dream board and post it where you can see it daily. By changing your thought process it will help modify your behaviors.
- What is the worst that can happen? DEATH. HaHa! But guess what? You will be gone and it is no longer your problem. But seriously, there is no reward without risk, and the greater the risk the greater the reward.
- Have a plan – Always have a contingency plan if things do not go the direction you originally planned for or expected.
Create achievable Goals
Start small. Take those baby steps. Remember you need to walk before you can run. Goal setting is the only way you can measure whether you succeed or fall on your face. You’re not going to walk on to the New England Patriots and take Tom Brady’s job and his girlfriend Gisele. You have to invest years and years of practice. Then you have to make sure someone can beautify you enough to land a supermodel. Sorry, we’re getting off topic.
To create achievable goals you first need to determine your ultimate goal – what do you want to achieve or see happen in the long term? Then, break that down into small, achievable goals.
- Make sure all your goals are S.M.A.R.T. Goals
- S – Specific (or Significant).
- M – Measurable (or Meaningful).
- A – Attainable (or Action-Oriented).
- R – Relevant (or Rewarding).
- T – Time-bound (or Trackable).
Once you have your goals in place, stay the course. It may get bumpy but keep your eye on the prize and remember what you set out to achieve. If needed – Adjust your goals to get you back on track. No reason to follow the road less travelled only to get lost. 😉
Celebrate your success
Once you have conquered all or part of your fear of failure celebrate with your bff.
Repeat after me… “FUCK YOU FEAR I WILL SUCCEED.” The only person holding you back is … YOU. So start today and reverse your train of thought, become more positive, get all your shit in order, set those goals, become uber successful and celebrate. Life will always be there to continuously kicks you in the BALLS and make you want to curl up in the fetal position and cry. This has happened to me and I’m sure many others but, we are human and should refuse to give up. Grab life by the balls and don’t let go until you have achieved everything you set out to, and more!